Tag Archives: ordination

Here Am I, Lord, Send Me

Today, is the thirtieth anniversary as an elder in the United Methodist Church. On May 31, 1988, I waddled up the stairs in Sam’s Chapel at Kansas Wesleyan University, Salina, Kansas. Waddled, literally, I was seven months pregnant with my son Joshua.

The elders that accompanied me up those stairs (which had the wobbliest hand rail) were Portteus Latimer (who was in her 80’s and one of the early, early women who pioneered in the Methodist Church) and Elsie Crickard who also pregnant and who would give birth to her daughter the next day.

My mother and family arrived a bit late and had to sit in the balcony. She shared me that as my name was called and I began to climb those stairs to the stage someone whispered dramatically, “She’s pregnant!” and then as Elise began climbing the stairs, “oh my God there are two of them!” I have smiled over that memory more than once.

I began preaching in 1982 as a full time licensed local pastor, went to seminary and while in seminary was ordained a deacon in 1985. My district committee on ordained ministry had to come to my home for my interview to be approved to go the conference committee because I had given birth to my daughter, Kristin, the week before. The stained glass window I use in my blog from First United Methodist Church helps me remember that first ordination as it was held there.

I was so young and excited and awed and blessed to be a pastor in the United Methodist Church. I had such hopes for the future.   I knew that the world was changing and the church was becoming more inclusive and more and more women were entering seminary and being ordained. I believed the time was coming when we would fully embrace the gifts our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters would bring to the community of faith. Even as I attended the 1988 General Conference in Saint Louis and saw the long road ahead, I believed that the winds of the Spirit were moving.

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Since that day, I have worn this stole and the gold dove with pride. The red stole was put on me on that night thirty years ago. The gold dove was a gift from my family with the date engraved on the back. I wear it each year on this day and during annual conference. If I participate in ordination, I wear this particular stole. I have other red ones, but this one connects me to each ordination class and my own.

Fast forward thirty years. I am not so young, but still excited and awed and blessed to be a pastor in the United Methodist Church. I have been honored and privileged to baptize dozens of babies and youth and adults, confirm many into life of faith, perform dozens if not hundreds of weddings and funerals. I have been blessed to be invited into the most intimate moments of peoples lives and be the incarnational presence of God. Women are in leadership as bishops, district superintendents, conference leaders, general secretaries and senior pastors of large churches. There are many young women entering the ministry and they continue to embrace the call.

I am a bit more realistic as to how quickly the world changes, however. In fact I grieve that some things have not changed at all in thirty years. We still exclude our called gay and lesbian friends as pastors. The United States and many other countries in the world recognizes marriage between same gender couples, but as pastors we are denied the honor of presiding at such services. It saddens me to the core.

Still, here am I. I have written several blogs about not going away, not being willing to stop working for the changes in the church I love. The United Methodist Church has been good to me, I have served churches as small as 8, to the large church I serve now. I have loved and delighted in being a pastor and sharing the good news of God’s love with others. I am deeply grateful to have been entrusted with the care of the congregations I have served since 1982.

As I wear my dove today, I remember those hands on my head and on my shoulders. I remember the excitement and fear, the energy and love and faith I had that God would use me to build the kingdom, the reign that Jesus had promised. I still believe. Sometimes a little weary and worn, sometimes a little bit angry and anxious, but determined and trusting that God is not done with me or with the United Methodist Church I love.

Here am I, Lord, send me.

 

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Some Reflections on the the Great Plains Annual Conference

For United Methodists, Annual Conference rolls around every year. It is “non-negotiable” if you are clergy you are required to show up. If you are a lay member, it is expected you show up, but not required. Annual Conference in the best of all worlds part revival, part business session and part family reunion. I both love it and dislike it (the loathe and hate words being too strong.)

I’m an extrovert, so having a chance to catch up with folks I only see once a year it wonderful and exciting. Mostly I enjoy the worship if done well, some of the business and the visiting. I do dislike, no I actually loathe the horrible chairs that are uncomfortable and actually are a pain in the “back” and backside!

Four years ago, three annual conferences (Nebraska, Kansas East and Kansas West) became one conference. I won’t go into the myriad of reasons, but suddenly finding venues large enough to hold that many clergy and laity became more difficult. No longer can we have chairs around tables, which makes it easier to do the work of the conference, now we are in long rows with uncomfortable chairs hooked together. We juggle our laptops or tablets or workbooks on our laps and heaven help anyone who needs to get to a microphone quickly or let alone the bathroom!

The sessions planning committee works hard in those large arenas to make the stage worshipfull and beautiful for our various services. There is nothing easy about trying to get that many people together and have all the various functions go smoothly. I miss the smaller conferences partly because of the ease of knowing most everyone and for the ability to make space more intimate. I, also, was one who voted for the one conference, because I had served a three point charge and I am well aware of the toll on the leader trying to do three of everything. That is not good use of resources, not of time, not of finances and certainly not of human beings.

This year’s conference was our new bishop, Ruben Saenz, Jr.’s first with us. I have been a pastor a long time, but had few bishops. Bishop Scott Jones was my bishop for twelve years, Bishop Fritz Mutti was my bishop for twelve years before that, Bishop Ken Hicks was my bishop for eights years before that and I begin my ministry under the leadership of Bishop Ben Oliphint. Each bishop brings their unique and unrepeatable spirit and their gifts to the area in which they serve. 

Bishop Saenz led with humor, humility, honesty and  a good deal of laughter. He noted again and again that the United Methodist Church is in a time of discernment, and honestly a time of difficulty. There is much about the future that is uncertain, but what is certain, Bishop Saenz stated again and again, is that “Jesus is the foundation and it will be alright.” 

When things got tense, or there were strong feelings running deep, Bishop Saenz’s would stop and lead us in prayer. To some that might some manipulative or shallow, but for me it never felt that way. The times of prayers felt genuine and deep. The prayers were not directed to one viewpoint or another, just that we might discern God’s path for us and to love one another.

Anyone can go to the conference website to see the pictures and videos and updates. My take away said are pretty basic, we are in changing times. Pastor’s and lay leaders need ot be discerning where God is leading using Jesus’ prayer, “not will by thine” and “let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” The people of God need each other. 

Personally, I am delighted to return as senior pastor at First UMC, downtown Wichita and to begin work with my new associate Rebecca Goltry Mohr. As part of the Transition into Ministry program, I am honored that First will be a teaching/mentoring congregation and that I have the honor to be a mentoring senior pastor. 

During the opening worship service, we were given small silk flowers to remember those members of the annual conference, both lay and clergy who had died in the prior year. During holy communion we were invited to drop those flowers into a bowl in honor and rememberance. Then someone created this with those flowers:


Stunningly beautiful, during ordination we were reminded we are surround by such a great cloud of witnesses. We were commissioning and ordaining our new leaders and being blessed and reminded to continue to run the race set before us. Pastor Rebecca’s was commissioned as a provisional elder during that service.


The theme for this years conference is a good one: Know God, Proclaim Christ, Serve Others, Seek Justice. May it be so. 

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Transitions, Part 2

On July 1, in my annual conference of the United Methodist Church, new appointments begin. I began ministry June 1, 1982 when appointments began June 1. Today, I officially begin my new appointment as senior pastor of First United Methodist Church in Wichita, Kansas. I posted about this surprise move in an earlier blog, Transitions . I say “official” because I have spent this last week moving my office and preparing for Sunday morning.

I am aware that no transition is easy or clean. First Downtown is the church I grew up and so there is a familiarity to the building and the space. There are people from what I jokingly call “my former life” and others are new to me and I to them. So I am going home in some ways and in other ways this is all brand new.

In the midst of joy, excitement and a little fear in this new beginning, there is also a sense of awe, humbleness and gratitude. The pulpit ministry of First goes beyond the walls of the physical space through live television and online streaming. Ministers that have gone before me are some of the “best” preachers in the United Methodist Church. As a historic downtown “tall steeple” church, the expectations are real. In its 146 year history, I will be the first woman senior pastor. Other women broke the barrier as associates as far back as the 1970’s, but I am aware of how honored I am to be appointed to this church that has such  an important place in my heart and in the hearts of others.

I am grateful, because I am not here because of who I am, but because of the hard work of many other women before me. This year at General Conference they celebrated the 60th anniversary of women’s ordination.

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Now first of all, I need to note that this is INCORRECT!!!! This is the 60th anniversary of women in “full membership.” One might think that the question that those in process gets asked the most (what’s the difference between ordination and membership) might not be misrepresented at the top level of the church. Sigh. In my blog from a couple of years ago, I mentioned one of those wonderful foremothers who broke the ground for me and so many others Rev. Portteus Latimer. Portteus or “Preach” as she was known was ordained BEFORE she was a full member.

What that meant was that she had to “find” her own appointment and if a man was found to fill the pulpit she had to leave. What that meant was that when she attended annual conference with her lay member (who happened to be a woman) her lay member was allowed full voice and voting right and Preach was not. She was ordained, but NOT a member. Those membership rights 60 years ago MEANT that in theory at least, women could vote, could be elected to attend General and Jurisdictional Conference as clergy delegates and could even become a bishop! She shared about being a pastor without being recognized as fully equal. Without her mentoring me and caring for me in those first five years of ministry, I am sure I would not be the pastor I am today. I am so grateful for all those women who went before me that paved the way for me to serve God in so many ways.

On May 31, 1988 I was ordained an elder in the United Methodist Church. Preach laid hands on me in the moment that was so blessed. On that day I received two gifts, one a red stole placed around my neck after I was ordained and a small gold dove, engraved with my ordination date by my family.

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Each year at Annual Conference I wear the dove and if I participate in the ordination service I wear this stole. It is part and parcel of the history of those who went before me and I pray for the ministry in which I am now engaged.

So the new adventure begins. Downtown Wichita is part of who I am, from when I was a child, to the choice I made ten years ago to move back to the heart of Wichita, where I grew up and where I attended school and where I thrive. To be part of Life.Downtown. was a surprise blessing. I look forward to coming full circle and being in ministry at First.

I am graced to serve.

 

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