As week ago I wrote these words for my church newsletter:
I am attempting to learn patience. I am a person, maybe like many of you, that is used to being able to do things quickly. I walk quickly, I often get many things done in a short amount of time and used to being able to get up and go when I want to go.
And then……I break my foot. It wasn’t “supposed” to be a break, it was supposed to be a sprain. Instead, two broken bones, what feels like a HUGE cast and all the sudden, life slows down. Driving is out of the question for the next few weeks, riding my bicycle, walking, getting from one place to the next quickly, just is not going to happen.
After first service this last Sunday, one of our deeply spiritual members looked at me and said, “Right now, God wants you to rest in Him.” It struck me deeply. For all the time I spend in prayer, meditation and study, I wondered how often I “rest” in God and in God’s grace and love.
When I wrote those words for West Heights newsletter, I thought I would take my own advice. Then the weekend came, I went to the gym to try out a couple of things. Saturday was the first market of the season and the Royal Tailor concert, up and down, trying not to dance, but then racing when the fire alarm went off from the smoke machines, stressed my foot a “bit.” Sunday, I preached standing up trying a new pair of shoes that were too tall, when all others are too short. My foot, my good foot hurt! I spent the rest of the day with my foot elevated. Obviously I am not resting well or taking it easy!
There is always so much to do and of course it never gets done. Yet the call of scripture again and again is to be patient, to let go and let God and rest in the assurances and promises of God. It is not that I or we are not called to be about the work of the reign of Christ, it is just that it does not all depend on us. It depends on God’s Spirit.
My limited mobility is supposed to force me to slow down, to depend on others (like Andrew to drive me to and from work) and to adjust my way of being for a time. I may be gaining a new understanding for those who are more dependent on others, those who can not move quickly and those who can only do so much, because physically they can do no more. I am not learning as well as I might. Today, I am staying off the foot, which amazingly doesn’t hurt! Working in the office on things I can do without moving much.
Perhaps, in the midst of healing, I can lean into God and into God’s grace and love. I am reminded that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I am also reminded I don’t have to do all things in this moment. There will be other moments and other days when I can do things I can not do now. One parishioner today sent me this verse today, “Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” (Psalm 27: 14) So I wait, not as patiently as I might, but I wait for the healing I know will come and take heart that God is with me, even in my impatience.
I am Graced to serve.